


How To Steal A Million(aire)

by SailorHeichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Book/Movie Fusion, Alternate Universe - How To Steal A Million, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art Collector!Erwin, Art Collector!Levi, Art Thief!Eren, Based off the 1966 film How To Steal A Million, Cat Burglar!Eren, Eren Is a Little Shit, Failed Attempted Robbery, French!Levi, Hanji being Hanji, Heist, Humor, Levi in Chanel, Levi in Givenchy, Levi won't say he's in love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Attraction, Plot Twists, Rich!Levi, Robbery, Shooting Guns, Titan-Haired Eren Yeager, first meetings gone wrong, levihan brotp, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-25 20:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6209353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorHeichou/pseuds/SailorHeichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is the last son of a wealthy Aristocratic Family of Art Collectors. However, when he learns that all the art in his late Grandfather's collection have all been forged by the very man himself, Levi finds himself (and his reputation) in a heap of trouble. </p>
<p>Lucky for him, he meets a handsome Cat Burglar by chance. Eren Jaeger is young, charming and quite clever and everything Levi tries to steer clear from. When Levi wants to hire Eren to steal a piece of art back from a museum before it's gone through technical examination, needless to say, the suave young con-man is all in!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. La Naissance

**Author's Note:**

> As the tags say, this little fic was inspired by the 1966 Audrey Hepburn film How To Steal A Million with Peter O'Toole.   
> I watched it recently, and it has quickly become a favorite of mine. I highly suggest watching it, as it is brilliant. Especially, if you're an old movie buff (and a huge Hepburn Fan) like myself. 
> 
> I'm going to do my best to modernize this fic, as I did with Don't Reach For The Moon (another Hepburn film I wrote an Ereri fic for, for any of you who are not familiar with my work.). I'll also be changing up quite a few things, save for possibly a few lines of dialogue straight from the film. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> _“Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.”_ **Edgar Degas**

There he was. At yet another dull and boring Auction. 

Levi despised these social events, but unfortunately for him, they were a necessary evil. He sat in a darkened corner wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, designer because, well, just because. He tuned out majority of the droning on from the Auctioneer at the front banging his gavel and shouting in excitement about yet another Cezanne painting being sold. Levi couldn't care less, really. He was only here because his presence was requested by the committee that wanted to sell his Grandfather's Van Gogh, and only because he was the last son of the Ackerman bloodline. (He had a distant half-cousin by the name of Mikasa, but she was studying in Japan and well, if Levi were being honest, they never much got along anyway.) 

"-- for $100,000 to the gentleman in the front! Thank you, sir!" 

Levi was forced to direct his attention back to the still ongoing Auction, as the Cezanne painting had just been sold and as he'd been informed earlier that afternoon, His Grandfather's Van Gogh was to be the last spotlight item, meaning it was next. _Thank fuck._ Levi thought with a deep sigh.

"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, this last item is on the front cover of your catalogs. Because of the interest in this Van Gogh painting, we are keeping lines open to our buyers in London and France. This great painting is from the World-Famous Ackerman Collection, sold by order of the present head of the family, Monsieur Levi Ackerman!" 

For a moment, Levi was glad that he was wearing sunglasses, as he had immediately rolled his eyes at the mention of his name before he reluctantly stood up from his seat and nodded his head toward the Auctioneer at the front while the crowd of buyers all turned and murmured while applauding him. Levi was once again reminded of why he hated these events and how he usually did his very best to avoid them at all costs. Damn Hanji and her annoying nagging.

He quickly reclaimed his seat, crossing his leg over the other and adjusting the lapels of his black Chanel blazer he wore that evening. The crowd eventually returned their attention back to the Auctioneer and the Van Gogh sitting prettily, waiting for it's next buyer and owner. 

"Now, who will start this superb masterpiece at $500,000? Do I hear $500,000?" 

As the offers came pouring in left and right, sending the price higher and higher, Levi once again tuned out the buzz of the Auction and returned to his thoughts. The afternoon would continue this way for at least another half hour before his Grandfather's Van Gogh would be sold for no less than some millions.

\- X -

Finally, free of the droll auction and it's over-bearing art-obsessed patrons, Levi all to eagerly got into the black Rolls-Royce that was waiting for him just outside the Auction venue with his faithful Chauffeur, Gunther, waiting for him with the back door open.

The stern man gave a firm nod to Levi who returned the gesture as he got into the car, Gunther shutting the door and quickly moving into the Driver's seat himself before pulling out into the busy streets of Sina and driving back to the Estate Levi called home. 

"Did the Auction go successfully, sir?" Gunther asked, despite knowing better than trying to make small talk with his poker-faced employer. 

Levi removed the sunglasses from his face, it being completely unnecessary to hide his disinterest now. Sharp grey eyes settled Gunther with a tired glare before the raven was rolling his eyes once more. 

"Eyes on the road, Gunther." he instructed in a clipped tone of voice. 

This only prompted a small smile from the man in the driver's seat as he turned into traffic, merging with the rest of it. 

"Aye, Captain."

\- X -

Upon arriving at the estate, Levi swiftly climbed the white stone staircase leading up to his front door, where he was greeted by his Butler, Oluo. Despite his wrinkled face, surprisingly, Oluo was younger than Levi himself, yet the man could pass for Levi's father.

"Good afternoon, sir." Oluo greeted with a subtle bow. 

"Oluo," Levi nodded back, striding past him and entering the foyer that was all white Italian marble floors polished to Levi's standards. 

His Chukka boots clacked noisily against the floors, and Levi removed his blazer tossing it over the back of a cream colored French Provincial Sofa with Gold accents. He loosened the collar of his crisp white button up, taking a small breath of relief now that he didn't feel so stifled. As much as Levi loved wearing his expensive designer clothes, he would much rather wear them in a more casual manner. He was only grateful that he had managed to talk Hanji out of making him wear a tie tonight. 

Oluo trailed after him, picking up his discarded blazer and hanging it over his left arm to be hung up properly to prevent wrinkles. The sound of his butler's footsteps mirroring his own had Levi groaning internally. Oluo was a fantastic butler but he could be a little... _too much_ at times. 

"Where's that crazy psychopath?" Levi asked with a hint of exhaustion in his voice. 

"Upstairs, sir. Would you like me to call her down?" 

"No. That'll be all, Oluo." 

"Of course, sir." 

Levi approached the grand staircase, covered in a deep royal purple runner as it spiraled up to the second floor where he knew he'd find Hanji among one of her many secret rooms. Well, they were Levi's secret rooms, or more precisely, they were his grandfather's but same difference. Taking up a steady but quick pace up the stairs, Levi spotted the first bedroom located to his left and he frowned. All the bedroom doors lining the long corridor were shut, meaning Hanji probably wasn't in either of them. No point in wasting his time looking here. 

There was really only one other place she could be, and Levi headed straight to one of the Master Bedrooms that was formerly his grandfather's on the east wing of the estate. As he suspected, he found his Grandfather's old bedroom door slightly ajar and with a heavy sigh, Levi pushed the door open and let himself in. Obviously, the room looked empty at first glance, but Levi knew better. 

Striding over to a mantel with a fireplace that hadn't been used in probably decades, Levi ran his slender fingers across the top, noticing the fine layer of dust that coated his fingertip afterwards. His lip curled up in disgust, but it's not like it should have been very surprising. This room was strictly off limits to anyone except Levi and Hanji. The very reason for this? Levi reached up toward a harmless looking miniature marble sculpture and turned it a quarter to the left, causing the stone of the mantel to groan before a small door was revealed, barely big enough for Levi himself to fit through. 

He hated this part. 

Crouching, Levi stepped over the unused kindling in the fireplace that was really just for show, but this was still technically a working fireplace that had been turned into a secret entrance, therefore, traces of black soot could sometimes still be found lingering and Levi was not keen on getting soot stains on his perfectly white Chanel button up. Once on the other side of the small door, was a narrow corridor nearly pitch black but save for some sunlight that bled in from above an old spiraling staircase. 

Levi was careful of the dank, stone walls as he cleared the narrow corridor, grabbing the unstable railing of the spiral staircase and frowning at it's disrepair. The steps of the staircase were in no better condition, and honestly, Levi didn't understand how Hanji hadn't been discouraged from still coming up here. The iron steps creaked and groaned loudly under his weight, and Levi hated how he was reminded of his surprisingly heavy-set body despite his lack of height. He always tried to convince himself it was just because he worked out and had so much muscle. Hanji often teased him by calling him "Fatty" anyway. 

Upon reaching the top step, Levi's head popped up into an old, musty attic that was bathed in natural light from the sun that poured in from the sloped glass roof. To Levi's great displeasure, he could see all the dust particles floating around like little snowflakes, and he'd give anything to have this entire secret top floor cleaned from top to bottom. He spotted a head of rust-brown hair from the corner of his eye, and turned to find Hanji wearing her white lab coat, the sleeves rolled up past her elbows, a pair of safety goggles perched on top of her head and what looked like black soot smearing her tanned cheeks. Overall, she looked like some mad scientist who's experiment went wrong. 

"Shitty-glasses," he growled. 

Upon hearing her slightly insulting nickname, the brunette whipped her head up from the many beakers and test-tubes she had arranged before her, and spotting Levi's scowling face, she beamed. 

"Well, hey there, short-stuff!" she chirped, sounding much too upbeat and high-spirited for Levi's own exhausted mood. "Back from the Auction already?" 

"Hn," grunted Levi as he took a few steps into the dust-den of an attic. "Don't you ever clean this place, four-eyes? It's fucking disgusting in here... and what is that smell?" 

" _That_ , my dear little munchkin, is the smell of science!" 

Grey eyes rolled again, "More like the smell of insanity and bullshit." the raven grumbled. "Remind me again why I let you do all your weird experiments up here?" 

"Hmmm..." Hanji pretended to think on it as she rounded her work bench and crossed her arms over her chest, revealing a pair of rubber gloves an alarming shade of neon yellow. "Because you love me and wouldn't be able to last a day without all my weirdness to keep you entertained?" She flashed Levi a toothy smile, to which the raven snorted and looked away from his childhood friend. 

"Moron," he muttered. About as close to an 'I love you, too' as Hanji would ever get. 

"So," Hanji sighed with a clap of her rubber-clad hands. "How did the auction go? Did your grandfather's painting hit the jackpot?" big brown eyes sparkled with excitement as Hanji waited for Levi's response. 

"Tsk, naturally." Levi huffed. "Then again, it is a Van Gogh. Anything less than what it was paid for tonight would have had my grandfather turning in his grave." 

"Ahaha, yeah." Hanji chuckled nervously, sliding her glasses up the bridge of her nose in a way that Levi recognized as one of her many nervous ticks. She was hiding something. 

"What is it?" asked Levi, narrowing his eyes at his long-time friend and scrutinizing her carefully. 

Hanji cleared her throat and did what she was known to do whenever she wanted to avoid something. Deflect. 

"So, h-how much did it go for exactly? I'm sure it was a pretty hefty sum." More nervous laughter, although it was starting to boarder on uncontrolled and even hysterical. 

"Hanji," the raven said in warning. He didn't like being lied to. "You're hiding something from me." 

The brunette acted as if she heard nothing and decided to look at anything and everything that wasn't strictly Levi. Feeling what little patience he had wear thin, Levi took a couple of steps toward the brunette's work bench, glancing down at all the odd liquids and chemicals in beakers that lined the desk like a colorful rainbow of different colors. Sharp grey eyes landed on a small tray of fine dirt, so fine, it was practically powder. He lifted the tray up and acted as though he were examining it. Hanji's brown eyes widened. 

"Levi, My dirt!!" she exclaimed, rushing around the work bench and trying to reclaim it from Levi's hands but he simply took two large steps back and smirked at her as he held the tray just out of her reach. 

"What's the matter, four-eyes?" he taunted. "It's just a pile of dirt. Not like you can't get more. The shit is everywhere." Levi sneered.

"LEVI ACKERMAN, PUT THAT DIRT DOWN RIGHT NOW!!" she yelled. 

"Or what? You'll fight me for it?" 

".. Yes!"

"Oh, really?" Levi hummed, giving a low whistle when he brought the dirt up to examine once more. "Must be some pretty important dirt, then. It would be a shame if... I spilled it." 

"O-OKAY, ALRIGHT!" Hanji froze, holding her hands up in the air as if surrendering. "Let's all be calm here. T-That's no ordinary dirt, kay? It's... it's special dirt!!" 

The raven cocked a suspicious brow at the brunette who was practically a nervous wreck over this little tray of dirt. What could possibly be so special about it, Levi wondered. 

"I'm perfectly calm, shitty-glasses. You're the one who's freaking out." 

"Levi," Hanji sighed, clearly exasperated with Levi's childish antics. The other man didn't yield. "It's hard to explain but that dirt... I use it for something very, very important and if something happened to that dirt, well... it would mean very, very bad things, okay!? That's all I can tell you!" 

Sucking his teeth in annoyance, Levi decided it was no fun if Hanji was going to be such a buzzkill about it. Despite Levi's constant complaining about her, he really didn't want to do anything that would cause trouble for his best friend, no matter how annoying she could be and no matter how much she made Levi want to commit homicide. The raven set the tray back down on the work bench and the sigh of relief that Hanji let out swept through the entire room before she rushed toward her precious dirt. 

"Whatever," Levi sniffed. "It's just dirt." 

Hanji opened her mouth, ready to protest, when they heard the sound of the doorbell ringing from downstairs. Levi's brows furrowed together in slight irritation and confusion. He wasn't expecting any visitors or guests today, or any other day for that matter. Levi was a very private man who hated socializing and therefore avoided it as often as possible. Hanji seemed to think the same thing, and soon the both of them were approaching the small window at the front of the attic that gave them a perfect view of the courtyard in the front of the estate. Levi saw a sleek black town car, looking very official. 

He immediately frowned at this. 

"Looks important," he said quietly. Hanji nodded in earnest. "I'd better go down and see what this is all about." 

"Want me to go with?" Hanji asked, genuine concern lacing her voice and making Levi sigh. 

"No," he said as he turned to walk back down the staircase. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle it myself. It's probably just another curator from some museum that wants to display one of Grandfather's paintings again. I'll just tell them to fuck off and send them on their way." 

"Okay," Hanji said slowly. "But, just in case, I'll standby in the servants quarters! I need to get something from there anyway." 

Nodding, Levi led the way down the stairs, stopping only a couple of times when he thought a step was about to give out from under him. After making it to the landing safe and sound, he crouched through the small secret door, only pausing briefly to make sure no one was in the room, although there shouldn't have been any reason for anyone to be there. Still, his grandfather had always taught him to be cautious and the lesson stuck. 

Hanji followed him out of the secret door, stepping over the unused kindling and turning the miniature sculpture back into it's original position so that the door closed behind them. Levi dusted himself off and sniffed his shirt, just to make sure he didn't smell like, well, soot or something else of the like. Finding that his clothing still smelled of the mild cologne he'd used this morning, Levi exited the bedroom with Hanji breaking off from him as she took another way toward the servants quarters. 

"Good luck!" she stage-whispered to him and Levi only rolled his eyes before descending the stairs. 

"Sir," Oluo met him halfway, looking quite peeved himself. "A Miss Rico Brzenska from the Sina Museum of Art here to see you on behalf of the Director." 

Levi nodded, "Thank you, Oluo." 

He continued down the stairs, shadowed by Oluo. Upon reaching the landing, Levi looked toward the foyer where a petite woman with silvery hair stood. Her face was stern and her eyes sharp, telling Levi this woman wasn't just some nobody but a very important and authoritative somebody. Rico was wearing a smart outfit of a cream single-button blazer thrown over a black lace blouse with a gold statement necklace, paired with a black pencil skirt and black stilettos. 

Noticing Levi's arrival, Rico pushed her gold rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose and stepped noisily toward the staircase to greet Levi. She gave him a solemn nod of her head, and Levi returned the gesture. 

"What is this about?" Levi asked, doing his best not to sound as annoyed and impatient as he felt. 

"Mr. Ackerman," Rico addressed, her voice surprisingly deep and commanding for a woman of such petite frame. "Apologies for imposing on you so suddenly and without any forewarning, however, this is a matter of utmost importance." 

Levi inclined his head. The politest way of him telling her to continue and with haste because he was running out of patience. Luckily, Rico didn't seem to the type to beat around the bush. She quickly produced some papers from a briefcase in her right hand and began skimming through them as she spoke next. 

"As you know, I've come from the Sina Museum of Art, and I'm assuming you're aware of the generous donation of your Marble Sculpture entitled _'Le Titan Femme'_?" 

"Of course," Levi said, using all his willpower to ensure that he didn't roll his eyes or snort derisively. He was trying to be civil. "What of it?" 

"The museum would just like to remind you of the insurance of your loan of _'Le Titan Femme'_ as it seems it wasn't discussed prior to the donation."

"Insurance?" This time, Levi did snort. "It's beyond price. It's never needed to be insured before." 

"Yes," Rico smiled thinly. "We're aware of that. However, by an unfortunate error, your signature was not obtained on a document." 

"I don't believe it's valid." The raven-haired man frowned. "The sculpture was loaned to the museum while my grandfather was still alive, therefore, wouldn't it be his signature needed? And if he didn't sign for it, then clearly, the Insurance was not wanted, nor did my Grandfather think it was necessary. As I said a moment ago." 

Levi's frank response didn't seem to deter Rico in the least, as she pulled out a rather nice fountain pen and uncapped it, readying the document for Levi's signature. Well, Levi had to at least commend her for her bold move. The woman clearly had balls of steel, and he definitely found a new sort of respect for her. 

"Mr. Ackerman, the Insurance will cover the work of art until it is returned to this house in good care. It's insured for $100,000,000 against all risks, including natural disasters but mostly, of course, theft. All we need is a signature from you, the head of this household, and everything will be settled." that thin smile returned to Rico's otherwise stony face and Levi couldn't help but scowl slightly. 

"You're quite determined to get my signature for this, aren't you?" he said, holding his hand out for the fountain pen in Rico's grip. 

"I assure you, Mr. Ackerman, this benefits everyone but you most of all, as the owner of the sculpture. It's in your best interest to sign." 

She handed the pen to Levi who took it gingerly, feeling the weight of it in his palm. Taking the documents from her hands, Levi did a quick skim through for himself, making sure there wasn't any fine print he'd miss. Seeing nothing out of sorts, Levi nodded to himself, pleased, and then finally signed his name on the dotted line. A genuine smile seemed to creep onto Rico's face as she took the papers from Levi's hands and took to the fountain pen back to recap it. 

"Thank you, Mr. Ackerman. Before I take my leave, I'm required to ask if you'd like to be present at the Technical Examination?" 

"No," Levi said firmly. "If that will be all, Miss Brzenska." 

Having gotten what she came for, Rico nodded her head and turned sharply on her heel to show herself out. Oluo followed her out.

"Um, Levi." A familiar voice whisper-shouted at him. 

Blinking slowly, Levi turned and fixed Hanji with an annoyed glare as the brunette poked her head out from around one of the grand granite columns. She'd cleaned off the soot marks from her face, but she was still wearing those ridiculous safety googles on top of her head and her lab coat was still on as well. 

"Why the fuck are you whispering?" 

"Levi," she repeated, a little more loudly this time. "I think there's something you should know." 

Rolling his eyes for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, Levi turned on the sole of his boot and started for the drawing room where he kept his alcohol. Hanji seemed to understand the silent command for what it was and followed him until they were in a more private area of the mansion. 

"Well, what is it? Spit it out." he said distractedly, busying himself with making a drink by grabbing a crystal tumbler. 

"Okay, so, don't be mad, but..." She paused, giving Levi a nervous glance that spoke volumes to the man who'd known this woman for the better half of thirty years. He could tell, just from the tone of her voice that something was wrong.

"Hanji, _what_." he asked in a clipped tone, feeling the last of his patience fade. He'd tolerated enough annoying people for one day and Levi was quite tired of all this nonsense. 

The brunette woman hesitated, pursing her lips together tightly and puffing her cheeks out as if what she was about to say was literally about to explode out of her mouth. "... YOUR GRANDFATHER'S SCULPTURE OF 'LE TITAN FEMME' IS A FAKE. ALL OF THE ART IN HIS COLLECTION ARE FAKES. I'M SORRY, LEVI. I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SOONER BUT HE WANTED TO PROTECT YOU AND MADE ME PROMISE NOT TO TELL YOU UNLESS I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO ANDANDAND-- I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME-E-E-E!!" 

Staring at Hanji in bewilderment for a long moment, Levi watched as the brunette finally ended her blabbering and struggled to catch her breath. Another long moment of silence for Levi to comprehend what had just been said, and then his expression darkened as he gripped the crystal tumbler that he had just filled with Brandy in his right hand. 

"What...?" he growled out, enunciating the 'T' harshly. 

"... I'm sorry..." Hanji squeaked while curling in a bit on herself, sensing Levi's anger rising slowly.

"Did you--" Levi stepped away from the small bar, crystal tumbler in had as he took two measured steps toward Hanji before stopping to shake his head. "Did you just say all my grandfather's paintings and sculptures are _fakes_?" 

Hanji took two steps back for every step Levi took forward, until she ran out of space and ended up backing herself up against a wall. Levi had her cornered, and she could see the way his pale face started to slightly redden with anger now. 

"Your grandfather asked me -- no! He made me _swear_ to NEVER, EVER tell you unless it was a matter of utmost importance like life or death! I was only doing what your grandfather asked of me!" 

The grip Levi had around his crystal tumbler tightened once more, until Hanji heard the glass crack and she gulped loudly. That crystal was at least an inch thick and heavy as a goddamn bar of gold, almost. Clearly, Levi's anger wasn't going to be quelled by a simple apology. Hanji didn't really blame him, though. 

"So, let me get this straight." Levi said, voice deceptively calm and even. Even his expression smoothed out from dark and seething to his usual indifferent look. He casually reached out and brushed a bit of soot from Hanji's lab coat, causing the brunette to flinch a bit. She didn't know what to expect when Levi was _this_ angry. "You're saying that my Grandfather forged several masterpieces by famous artists and sold them off as the real thing in order to create my family's fortune?" 

"Well," Hanji chuckled nervously. "To be fair, your grandfather may have forged majority of the paintings and sculptures in your family's collection, but the most recent Van Gogh you sold today at the auction was all me." 

That cool gaze suddenly turned sharp once more and Hanji swallowed shrinking in on herself, hoping Levi would eventually see the humor in all this.  
He didn't. 

"Do you realize what this means?" Levi asked, still sounding much too calm for Hanji's comfort. 

"Um, your entire life is a lie?" she tried for a smile, but knew it came out as more of a grimace than anything. 

Levi sighed, "No, Hanji." he turned his back to her and started walking back toward the bar, causing Hanji to relax and let out a breath of relief. 

Then, the sound of glass hitting the opposite wall and shattering loudly startled her once more and had her heart pounding a mile an minute as she stared at Levi wide eyed and then at the wall where the thrown glass had left a considerable dent in the dry wall with brownish-gold liquid staining the off-white paint as it ran down in fat droplets. 

"IT MEANS I'M FUCKED." Levi shouted in an angry snarl, startling Hanji even more because in all the years she'd known Levi, never once had she heard the man shout or raise his voice. Get angry, sure. Snap at people, yeah. But shout? Never. 

"Levi," she called cautiously. "Calm down and breath. I know it's a lot to take in." 

"No, Hanji." Levi snapped, turning his sharp glare back onto her before he started to pace the room anxiously. "I just signed a fucking document that will allow the Sina Museum of Art to run a Technical examination on the sculpture my Grandfather donated, and you've just informed me that it's a forgery done by none other than my own Grandfather as a-- as a-- like some kind of goddamn fucking hobby!! And you were in on it!" he ended, pointing an accusing finger at Hanji who gulped at the action. 

"I'm sorry, Levi. Really, I am." Hanji said softly, feeling rightly guilty for putting her best friend through so much shock. "If I had known they were going formally request a technical examination, I would have told you about all of this sooner. I guess your Grandfather's name doesn't mean much to the Art snobs anymore. A couple of years ago, they would have never thought about asking your grandfather for a Technical Examination on any of the pieces in his collection. Most people in the field trusted your grandfather, but it looks like that era is over." 

Sighing heavily and suddenly feeling like all of the blood has left his body, Levi slumped into a large leather armchair and rolled his head back until he was looking at the mural painted on the ceiling. Frowning, he wondered if that mural was some kind of forgery his grandfather did one day when he was bored. He wouldn't doubt it, now. 

"I'll be ruined, Hanji." Levi mumbled tiredly. "The reputation my Family has built in the art world will be tarnished, I'll probably be tried for all my Grandfather's crimes and thrown in prison and I'll lose everything." 

"I won't let that happen!" Hanji frowned, looking serious for once. "We'll leave the country. Go to your family's villa in France for a bit and just lay low." 

"It won't matter where I go." the raven said quietly. "My life is over. I'll never be able to come back from this. It'll be the biggest crime of the century." 

"Levi..." the brunette tried, taking a step forward to try and comfort the man but he was quick to stand from the chair and turn to leave the drawing room. 

"I'm going to bed." Levi informed her without even sparing her a glance as he left the room. 

Worrying her lower lip between her teeth, Hanji knew she had to do something. She was also responsible for part of this. After all, she knew and even partook in Levi's grandfather's forgeries. Her best friend was just an innocent victim of all this. She just had to find a way to fix this. 

She had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter title was taken from a beautiful piece by Keaton Henson Feat. Ren Ford. In French it means 'The Birth'.  
> I thought it suited the first chapter for some reason.


	2. Shoot to Miss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.” **Stella Adler**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie. I listened to Sam's Smith Writing's On The Wall the entire time I wrote the first half of this chapter even though the feel of this whole meeting is much less James Bond and secret spy stuff and Just two dumbs meeting and being awkward and shit.
> 
> Also, this is one of my favorite scenes from the movie!

Levi woke that night with a start. His heart was hammering loudly in his ears, and Levi was immediately reaching for the pistol he kept underneath his bed. He had become accustomed to break-in's, although, lately there hadn't been many attempted robberies since they'd upgraded their security system to the best money could buy, and Eld had trained two Doberman's to patrol the estate adding extra security. Still, didn't mean their system was completely full-proof. 

Hearing something of a gentle clatter coming from downstairs, Levi quietly left his bed, Pistol loaded and safety off. He crept toward the door of his bedroom, careful to open the handle as slowly as possibly to reduce any noise. With the door finally cracked, Levi noticed a shadow stretch up against the staircase from the moonlight that poured in from the arched windows downstairs. _Amateur_ , Levi thought with a smirk. 

Leaving his bedroom and nearing the top of the staircase, Levi heard the scrape of a chair leg and he frowned. Whoever this burglar was, they were rubbish at keeping quite. He quietly descended the stairs, hearing more squeaks and scrapes of legs of furniture before he finally got halfway down the staircase. Crouching a bit, Levi looked through the banisters and squinted to focus his vision to the near pitch blackness of his foyer and front sitting room. The only light was the pale moon's light, but tonight was cloudy and the little light the moon provided was sometimes obscured by a thick cloud, bathing Levi's front room in blackness once more. 

Then, the flicker of a flashlight and Levi could easily spot his burglar and even track them. Whoever they were, they were rather tall, and they were closely examining a painting on the furthest wall of his drawing room. Another Van Gogh painting, although, it wasn't really a legit Van Gogh (more than likely it was a forgery done by his Grandfather or Hanji). Levi took a couple of steps more and reached for the light switch just adjacent where he stood on the staircase. 

When he flicked the light on, pointing his pistol in the direction of the burglar, he'd caught the thief just about to dismount the painting from the wall but he froze when the lights flicked on. 

"Don't. Move." Levi instructed in a low commanding voice. He descended the last few steps and padded across the polished marble with bare feet. "Hands up, turn around slowly." 

The burglar did as he was told, slowly raising his hands up in the air and turning around as Levi approached him slowly with pistol aimed and ready. 

"You make it sound like you've got a weapon pointed at me," a youthful male voice snorted. 

When the burglar finally turned around fully, both parties were mildly alarmed by what they saw. Probably for completely different reasons, though. 

"Shit," the thief hissed out a curse. "You are holding a weapon." 

Startled by the robbers surprisingly young and handsome appearance, Levi had to quickly collect himself as he tightened his grip on his pistol and narrowed his eyes at the bright-eyed robber who flashed him a lop-sided smile. 

"H-Hey, is it really necessary to point that thing at me?" the taller man asked, odd colored eyes shifting between Levi and the barrel of the pistol pointed right at his chest. 

"Are you armed?" Levi asked tersely. 

The burglar shook his head, eyes a bit wide showing that, yes, he was definitely worried about the weapon in Levi's hand. However, fear aside, the man kept trying to appear casual and nonchalant despite his position. 

"Never much liked guns. Or, any weapons really." 

Levi wasn't about to be convinced by a thief's words. He could be lying to him while hiding a gun or a knife somewhere. Levi wasn't stupid. He took a moment to assess just what the burglar was wearing, and was a bit annoyed to find that the handsome man was actually wearing a rather nice tuxedo. Bow-tie and all. Was this guy serious? This wasn't some kind of James Bond movie where he could just break into a high security place wearing nothing but a tuxedo and planning to rob the place. 

"How did you get in?" Levi asked.

"There was an open window." the other man joked. 

"Don't try to be funny, you piece of shit. I could shoot you right now, if I wanted to." he snapped. 

"I'm telling the truth!" the burglar cried, jerking his head toward the nearest window in the drawing room and seeing the way the sheer curtain blew slightly with the chill of air that swept through the room. Well, damn. 

"Fucking Eld." the raven grumbled under his breath. He'd have the man fired if he found out this break in was due to his own clumsiness. Eld was in charge of security, after all. How could he have missed something like an open window? "Wait, that still doesn't explain how the fuck you even got onto the property. We have security cameras everywhere and guard dogs on patrol." Levi pointed out with a scowl. 

"Yeah, I know." the other man chuckled. "Amazing what a couple of dog treats and a few belly rubs will do. Also, don't you think we should at least be on a first name basis with each other before I'm allowed to see his Highness half-naked?" the burglar smirked, shamelessly drinking in the sight of Levi shirtless.

The sound of Levi's pistol clicking immediately halted anymore jokes, and the taller man swallowed visibly. Taking another step toward the burglar, Levi kept his sharp gaze on the man who in turn, took a step back. His eyes were an alarming shade of green and blue, Levi noted with a bit of annoyance. Still, ignoring the robber's poor attempt at flirting, Levi decided to get to the bottom of all this. 

"I won't waste my breath with asking why you broke in. But, I will ask why you chose that specific painting to steal. There's dozens of other more valuable paintings and sculptures here. You could have had your pick of any of them if you were really stealing them just to sell them. Are you a moron?" 

The brunet man flashed him a sheepish smile, "Well, this is surprising." he mumbled. Then, he shrugged. "I figured you probably wouldn't miss this one tiny painting. After all, you've so many more valuable ones, as you've just said." 

"Don't get smart." Levi stressed with an eye roll. "but if that's really your answer, then you're a bigger moron than I originally thought." 

"I take offense to that, sir." the other man frowned. "I'll have you know, I'm not just some petty cat-burglar trying to steal paintings for money." 

"Funny," Levi sneered. "Because that's exactly what you look like from my perspective. Although, your choice of attire is rather questionable. Planning on attending a Gala afterwards, perhaps?" 

Then, a slow, easy grin began to form on the younger man's face, causing Levi to frown even more. What the hell was this idiot smiling about? Levi saw nothing amusing about this situation. 

"That thing's not really loaded." the burglar said, oozing confidence as he began to lower his hands, easy grin turning into a condescending smirk now. 

Levi returned his condescending smirk with one of his own, "Big mistake." 

His pistol suddenly went off with a deafeningly loud bang. The handsome thief had ducked and rolled and Levi followed his surprisingly quick movements with even keener eyes, and soon Levi was quickly readying his next bullet and aiming it at the criminal who dove behind the cream and gold sofa. When silence finally settled over the room once more, Levi could clearly hear the burglar's labored breathing, and he noted with some satisfaction that he had definitely hit his mark. 

"You..." he heard the robber grunt while he struggled to catch his breath. "YOU _SHOT_ ME!" he cried disbelievingly.

"Look again, Sherlock." Levi taunted. "I only grazed you." 

"I'm bleeding, you asshole!" the man hiding behind the sofa growled, still huffing and puffing. 

Levi couldn't help but roll his eyes again. This was the most unbelievable cat burglar he'd ever encountered. Not that he'd encountered many this personally, but Levi was a little curious as to why being grazed by a bullet had the burglar so riled. Surely, living a life of crime and stealing shit for a living warranted being shot at. 

"You know, for a burglar, you're kind of a wimp." 

"Let me shoot you with a gun and see how you like it." came the annoyed grumble from behind the sofa, causing Levi to snort a quiet laugh of amusement. 

Suddenly, the front door burst open and Levi turned on his heel, aiming his barrel at the new presence that joined them. He supposed he probably should have calculated whether or not his wimpy burglar had brought along some other friends. It hadn't occurred to him until just now. 

"Sir!" Eld's panicked voice immediately had Levi lowering his weapon and easing his tense body that had suddenly tightened up like a spring when the door busted open. "I heard gunfire! Is there an intruder!?" 

Instinctively, Levi was about to look toward the spot where the burglar was still hiding, his breathing now subdued and silent. However, he seemed to think better of ratting the man out, seeing as that meant a lot of needless (and troublesome) commotion and no doubt, Eld would call the Police. That was the last thing Levi needed; Police crawling all over every inch of his estate and wanting to examine the Van Gogh (not-actually-Van-Gogh) painting for fingerprints and all that bullshit. After discovering his Grandfather's worrisome hobby of forging paintings and sculptures, Levi was weary of the authorities. 

Instead, he put the safety on his pistol back on and tucked it into the hem of his pajama bottoms. Eld watched him "holster" the pistol, flashing Levi an odd look for a moment. 

"I thought I saw a rat." Levi said casually, feigning indifference for a while before he immediately remembered he was supposed to be reprimanding his Chief of Security for not doing his job properly. "By the way, Eld." The raven scowled at the blond who suddenly straightened to attention at being addressed. "What the hell are you doing? Didn't you notice that window over there is wide open? If someone had wanted to break in here and steal something, you left them a pretty good fucking opening to do so." 

Seeing the way the blond's face twisted in confusion, Levi sucked his teeth with a loud 'Tsk!' and jerked his thumb in the direction of the open window with the billowing curtain. The blond's eyes widened in horror and he immediately turned back to Levi and gave a deep bow of his head, seeming too ashamed to even make direct eye contact with his strict employer. 

"I'm terribly sorry, sir! I must have forgotten to check if every window was secured. It'll never happen again, sir!" 

Giving a deep sigh, Levi decided he'd let this one slide. In the five years Eld has been working for him, this is the first time the Blond has ever made a mistake. He supposed that had to be rewarded with just a verbal warning this time. 

"Make sure it doesn't, Eld." Seeing, more than hearing the breath of relief Eld released, Levi kept the stern look on his face. "Now, get out. I'm going back to bed." 

"Yes, sir!" 

Eld was quick to follow orders, securing the front door behind him as he finally exited. With a another long-suffering sigh, Levi turned back to the sofa where his wimpy burglar was, no doubt, still hiding. This was confirmed when a messy mop of dark brown hair peaked over the back of the sofa, a pair of thick eyebrows following and finally, those stunningly odd-colored eyes that shifted from Levi, to the front door and back again. 

"... You didn't rat me out." the burglar observed aloud. Then, those bright eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why...?" 

Rubbing a hand down his face, Levi could feel the adrenaline rush crashing quickly, causing him to feel more tired than he originally thought. 

"I've had a very bad day, and I just didn't want to add anymore stress on top of it. Don't read too much into this. It's not like I wouldn't have turned your ass over to the police if it had been under different circumstances. I'm not a forgiving man." 

Cautiously, the burglar eyed the pistol that had been tucked away into Levi's pants, his eyebrows slightly raising up toward his hairline as he noticed the deep V cut dipping into the hem of Levi's pajama bottoms. If this burglar was trying to be subtle in his checking's out of Levi's fit physique, he was doing a piss poor job of it. Then again, from what Levi had gathered of the odd thief so far, he wasn't exactly your conventional cat burglar. 

"Hey," Levi snapped, catching the burglar's attention and seeming to startle him back to reality. "You better not have gotten any blood on my rug or sofa or I'll make you get on all fours and scrub that shit out." 

"You know, you really ought to think before you speak. What you just said could totally be taken out-of-context and used against you." 

Levi didn't have to see it in order to know that the smug thief was probably donning a smug grin. Ignoring the suggestive remark, Levi turned on his bare foot and started toward the kitchen. 

"Whatever. Follow me, dumbass. I won't have you bleeding out anywhere in my house." 

"And who's fault is it that I'm bleeding in the first place?" the thief grumbled, but Levi heard the sound of a strained grunt and finally footfalls not too far behind his. 

Once in the kitchen, Levi gesture toward a surprisingly simple wooden stool that didn't quite fit it with the sleek, modern theme of the kitchen itself. 

"Sit your ass down there and try not to get blood on anything." 

"Again," the burglar sighed. "Who's fault is it that I'm bleeding again?" 

"Yours." Levi shot back with all the straight-faced seriousness in the world. 

"Well, I didn't shoot _myself_ with a gun." came the disgruntled reply. 

Ignoring the thief, Levi opened his pantry and perused it's contents until his eyes befell a box of gauze and a roll of tape. Now, why would medical supplies be kept in a pantry, you ask? Having a friend as weird and as insane as Hanji, you quickly learned to keep first-aid in every room in your house. It was always something new with her. Grabbing what he needed, Levi cradled it all carefully in one arm and carried it back to the kitchen island where he deposited the gauze, the tape and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. 

"Do you often make it a habit of shooting people and then patching them up afterwards?" the burglar asked, prompting Levi to look at him properly for the first time since he shot him. Well, _grazed_ him.

He was mildly startled to see that the handsome thief had removed not only his tuxedo jacket, but also his dress shirt and bow-tie. The brunet was now sitting in Levi's kitchen, just as half-naked as Levi himself was. And it was _hard_. So very, very hard not to just stare and drink in the endless miles and miles of sinful sun-kissed skin that only made the brunet's unusual eyes seem brighter, framed by a wild mess of chocolate brown hair. It didn't take Levi staring to know that the burglar was quite fit. Maybe not as fit as Levi was, but still very athletic and toned. 

Levi hated how he licked his lips subconsciously, prompting a self-satisfied smirk from the burglar who was watching Levi's reaction carefully. The wound, right. Levi forced himself to focus on cleaning the wound and _not_ how he wouldn't mind latching his teeth onto the smooth planes of unmarred caramel skin that was clearly inviting him to do so. Luckily, the burglar decided to start a new topic of conversation. 

"Will it sting?" he asked, eyeing the bottle of rubbing alcohol dubiously. 

"Duh. It's alcohol." 

The thief made a quiet sort of strangled noise in his throat, wrinkling his nose as Levi uncapped the bottle and carefully placed a roll of gauze over the nozzle, tipping the bottle over to soak the cotton in alcohol to his satisfaction. Levi ignored the way his heart beat quickened when he reached toward the burglar's tricep and touched the smooth, warm skin lightly. The electricity Levi felt run through his body all the way down to his toes at the brief contact was enough to have the raven swallowing thickly and furrowing his brow in concentration. _Focus_ , Levi reminds himself. 

When the alcohol soaked gauze touches the tender and torn flesh, the burglar flinched with a loud hiss and nearly jerked away from Levi. This only caused the raven to firmly grab hold of the toned tricep and hold the arm in place, preventing his wimpy burglar from escaping. Ignoring the way the thief's hot skin seemed to seer him, Levi decided to taunt him instead. 

"Baby." he grumbled. "It's just a flesh wound." 

"It happens to be _my_ flesh!" the brunet hissed back at his taunts through gritted teeth. 

Another eye roll, and Levi found that the casual banter was actually helping him to forget about the thrum of electricity he felt just underneath the surface of his own skin. Excitement at the skin contact and the firm grip he had on that muscled arm. 

Once the initial sting of the alcohol cleaning his wound was gone, Levi noticed the burglar watching him very carefully. Studying his every movement as Levi cleared away the old and new blood with precision and making sure the area was completely sterilized before he began working on makeshift bandage. Suddenly, Levi was hyper aware of everything; the heat radiating off of the other man's body onto his own cold skin, the warm fanning of an exhaled breath from the thief's nose, the prickly feeling of being watched by those stunningly beautiful eyes that reminded Levi of the ocean waves and starlight. 

When had they gotten so close? He wondered briefly. Had the burglar moved closer when he wasn't paying attention? Or had Levi somehow drifted closer without even noticing? He didn't know anymore. 

_Focus_ , a voice repeated through all the static white noise in his mind that was taking over and dulling all of his senses. _Focus!_

Whatever sort of mood had just fallen over the two men in the kitchen was broken when Levi finished taping down the last bit of gauze to golden skin and the raven stepped away from the welcoming warmth that wanted to swaddle him. He cleared his throat, gathered his bearings, and stamped down any lingering feelings of _want_ and _desire_.

"You're finished." he said in a voice much too soft to be his own. Again, he swallowed thickly. 

With his back turned, Levi began packing up all the supplies he'd used and disposing of the wrapping from the gauze pad. He heard the sound of the wooden legs from the bar stool scrape across the marble floor behind him and he assumed the other man was probably dressing himself. He hadn't, however, expected to find the burglar standing no less than a few inches away from him once he'd turned around again. 

Levi took in an eyeful of strong, prominent collar bones before grey eyes ascended upward slowly, drinking in a slightly muscular neck looking to Levi like a blank canvas just begging to be marked with beautiful blossoming bruises and teeth marks. Then, a sharp, chiseled jawline devoid of any stubble or facial hair; smooth and baby soft. That heat was once again enveloping his entire body and drawing him toward the other man like the ocean tide to the moon's gravitational pull. 

He could have put a stop to this before it even started; he could have grabbed his pistol and pressed it against the man's chest, threatening to blow a hole through him if he didn't back the hell up right now, but he didn't. He found, terrifyingly enough, that he had no desire to do that. 

A large, warm hand reached up to gently cup the left side of his face. Hot fingertips dancing across his jaw and a thumb lightly tracing the curve of his plumper bottom lip. When that gorgeous face inched closer, the other man craning his neck down a bit to advance toward his target, Levi took one glance up at those gem-like eyes and let out a small, shuddered breath when he saw just how more amazing they looked this close and hooded behind a curtain of thick, light brown lashes that were beautifully long and graceful. 

Warm, slightly chapped lips brushed against his own and that electricity was back, thrumming through his veins and causing his heart to beat against his ribs like a caged bird. He could have struggled and tried to resist, but again, Levi found he had absolutely no desire to and it was a bit frightening. Perhaps there was still a bit of an adrenaline rush spurring him on, or maybe he was just tired. Either way, when their lips finally connected, Levi's eyes had drifted closed and he felt his fingers twitch, yearning to reach up and run through the chaotic mess of hair, gripping and controlling, deepening this kiss that was both thrilling but not nearly enough to satisfy the raging wildfire that was beginning to grow inside him. 

After one long kiss, the burglar pulled away and Levi was tempted to chase after his lips, but he only just refrained from doing so, feeling the disappointment about the kiss not lasting longer or leading to something more satisfying. 

"Call me Eren," the brunet murmured against his lips, just before a smile stretched them again. "I hope we can meet again under less bloody circumstances, Mr. Ackerman." 

And before Levi could grab hold of those broad shoulders and growl out a feral 'Shut up and kiss me.' before tugging those lips back onto his, Eren was moving away from him quickly and vanishing from the kitchen altogether like some sort of phantom in the night, leaving Levi standing alone in a semi-lit kitchen feeling dazed and craving after those lips that spoke of other meetings to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listened to Keaton Henson - Healah Dancing while writing this last bit. (;  
> Felt like it added that little extra something, you know?


	3. The Burglar & The Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” **Andy Warhol**_  
> 

Later that evening, Eren entered his hotel room and sighed heavily as he shucked off the jacket of his tuxedo and tossed it carelessly over the back of a chair near the desk in the spacious and expensive room. 

There was really no point in being careful with his clothes, seeing as the jacket and the right sleeve of his shirt were torn from the bullet that had grazed him earlier that evening. Ripping off the white button up uncaring if he tore a few buttons while he did so, Eren winced slightly, starting to feel the stiffness around his wound. Levi had done a pretty good job of cleaning it and patching him up, but that didn't mean he wasn't still prone to an infection. He'd have to have Armin take a proper look at it later. 

Suddenly, a set of three quick knocks on his hotel room door drew Eren's attention toward it, and with a grunt of mild pain when he tried to rotate his stiff arm he beckoned his rather late quest in. 

"Eren, you're finally back!" Armin's high voice chirped in excitement. "How did it go?" 

The brunet frowned at the blond's obvious excitement over his return before he lifted up his wounded arm to show off his battle scar. Armin's impossibly blue eyes widened in shock at the gauze and tape that had soaked up any remaining blood that may have soaked through, which was quite a bit considering Eren's form of escape from the Ackerman estate. He now regretted taking the long way out, meaning he went out the exact same way he went in. Climbing through a window, skirting the side of the mansion and hiding behind perfectly trimmed Topiary hedges and other foliage on the property before he reached a high security gate and climbed over that as well. 

"Your arm!" his friend had cried, rushing over to Eren's side and gently grabbing his arm to get a better look at the wound. "What happened? I thought this was supposed to be a quick in-and-out job?" 

"Yeah, well, apparently not. I ended up running into Levi Ackerman, Heir to the World-Famous Ackerman art collection." 

"And he shot you!?" Armin gaped. "I mean, Levi always looks very stern and kind of intimidating in public photographs, but from what I had heard, he wasn't known to be very confrontational. Then again, he's so private about his life that hardly anybody knows anything about him. Wow. I can't believe he shot you." 

"He didn't _shoot_ me." Eren grumbled with a pout. "According to him, he only _grazed_ me." 

"Po-ta-to, po-tah-to." the blond shrugged. "Point is, he aimed a weapon at you and injured you. So, how did it happen? You have to tell me everything." 

The taller man raised a skeptical eyebrow at his blond friend who seemed eager to hear all the details of his attempted burglary gone wrong. He looked like a kid on christmas, but well, Eren would be lying if he said he wasn't dying to tell Armin about the whole incident himself. 

And he did, including the kiss he shared with one very attractive raven-haired millionaire in his very own kitchen before he made his great escape. Armin stared at him with eyes the size of dinner plates and his mouth agape. 

"You _kissed_ him!?" Armin squeaked. "Eren, no!" 

"I know!" the brunet grunted in frustration, scrubbing his face with his hands before running them through his hair, efficiently pushing all the loose strands back and out of his face. "I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I just couldn't help myself, Armin! He's a very, very attractive man with very nice muscles!" 

That earned him a snort of laughter from Armin who shook his head at the brunet in fond amusement. 

"Oh, Eren." he'd said, eyes big and soft and maybe even a little pitying. "Muscles truly are your weakness, aren't they?" 

"Try Levi Ackerman is my weakness." The brunet huffed in annoyance. "Tell me I'm the world's biggest idiot for hoping that I'll be able to meet him again, Ar." 

"Eren Jaeger," Armin said in the most serious tone of voice he could muster. "You're truly the world's worst part-time burglar. And the world's biggest idiot." 

"That's what I thought." Eren said to himself quietly. 

"Attractive Millionaires aside," the blond thankfully changed the subject, prompting Eren to temporarily forget about his romantic crisis to focus on more important matters. "Tell me about that Van Gogh you were trying to take. Were you able to examine it before, well, you know?" 

This immediately had Eren frowning, "I did," he said gravely. 

"Well!?" Armin impatiently prompted. 

"It was a damn good painting, Ar. Too good." 

The blond suddenly clapped his hands together, startling Eren as he watched his friend grin widely. 

"So, it does bother you!! Let's have it, then! What about that specific Van Gogh painting had you so suspicious?" 

"It just doesn't make sense, Armin." Eren said, standing from where he'd taken a seat on the edge of the bed and pacing the length of his room as he cradled his chin between his thumb and index finger. Thick eyebrows furrowed in deep thought and concentration. "Why would an Aristocrat like Levi Ackerman's Grandfather need to forge paintings to sell them, when he could easily afford to own the real things? Surely, that's a much less risky gamble. And besides, it's not like they needed the money made from selling forgeries. They're Old Money." 

"Who cares?" Armin frowned. "Look, I'm not saying those all aren't good questions, but maybe the real answer here is that Levi's Grandfather just wanted to prove something by forging all those paintings and sculptures." 

"Prove what?" Eren scoffed. 

"That he was clever and that he could hoodwink the entire world into thinking his recreations were the real things. Forgery becomes an obsession after awhile, you know. A sickness, just like drug addiction. Somebody was bound to figure it out, one day." 

Eren stopped his pacing, fixing Armin with a curious look before both of his arms flopped to his sides and he sighed. 

"Yeah, I guess so." Eren felt his heart sink when one particular though struck him. "What about Levi?" he'd asked in a quiet voice. 

"What about him?" Armin asked with a shrug. 

"Do you think... he was in on it? The forgeries?" 

Blond eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as well and Eren waited for his brilliant friend's conclusion with bated breath. 

"It's possible," Armin had hummed thoughtfully. "But the only real way to know, is to try and find out." 

That prompted a big grin from Eren, "I think I'm going to like figuring that out for myself." 

"Of course, you are." The blond laughed. "Now, come on. Let's go tend to that wound and get a proper dressing on it."

\- X -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title is kind of a dumb joke. Anyone remember the WB Kids cartoon called The Pinkie & The Brain? SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE 90'S KIDS!


	4. Mr. Smith (Do you have time to tell me pretty lies?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“If a man devotes himself to art, much evil is avoided that happens otherwise if one is idle.” **Albrecht Durer**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ****Warning!!** Slight undertones of one-sided Eruri in this chapter. 
> 
> For those of my readers who follow me and know most of my works, you'll know that Eruri is my ultimate Notp and I do not in any way ship Erwin and Levi, thus, you can imagine how impatient I was to get this chapter done and over with. 
> 
> Fear not my Ereri shippers! Levi isn't interested in Erwin romantically! We all know Eren is the only one for Levi <3

"HE KISSED YOU!?" 

Currently, Levi Ackerman was doing his best not to strangle Hanji as she sat on his King-sized bed bouncing uncontrollably on it and causing it to creak noisily, much to Levi's annoyance. 

Not surprisingly, he hadn't slept much after his encounter with the strange yet charming Burglar named Eren. He kept thinking about those damn eyes of his and the way he'd kissed Levi like he'd never been kissed before in his entire thirty-years of life. And when he wasn't thinking about those hypnotic eyes and those incredibly warm lips, he was dreaming of them. 

"Stop screeching, you fucking banshee." Levi spat irritably. "Yes, he kissed me." 

"Did you like it?" Hanji smirked, ceasing her excited bouncing to gauge Levi's reaction to her question. 

The raven had stiffened considerably, keeping his back turned to his best friend as he automatically answered her question in his own head without a single beat of hesitation. _'Yes,'_ he had liked it. Unfortunately for him, his prolonged silence to Hanji's question was enough confirmation for her and it didn't take her long to squeal excitedly. 

"YOU DID LIKE IT!" she sang loudly, prompting Levi to whirl around and scowl at her. 

"What are you, a thirteen-year-old middle school girl?"

"Only when it comes to your love life, sweetie pie." Hanji grinned. "By the way, what are getting all dressed up for? Arranged a meeting with your Burglar?" 

Levi gave a wry snort at the way Hanji waggled her eyebrows at him suggestively. 

"Don't be a fucking moron," he'd grumbled, although Hanji could see the way the corner of his lips twitched up just the tiniest bit. "I have a date." 

"A date!?" Hanji squawked. "With who?"

"Some guy I met a while ago at an art exhibit opening. Erwin Smith, or something." 

Hanji suddenly went very quiet and Levi thanked whatever divine being up above for small miracles. He was beginning to get a small migraine with all of Hanji's blabbering, which seemed to be doubled today for some odd reason. Normally, she was chatty, but today she was chatty with a side of fries. 

"Erwin Smith?" he heard her mumble to herself. 

"Hn," Levi grunted back while looking through his wardrobe for something that would match his black suit for tonight. "He said he works with computers or something. Some big hot shot in the business world." 

"Levi," Hanji called in an odd voice. "I know him." she said. 

"What?" The man asked, turning to Hanji and eyeing her skeptically. "How?" 

"Well, not to brag, but as a forger it's kind of important to know about the people who buy your recreations. Your grandfather sold a piece of his art to him just before he died." 

For a moment, Levi was silent as he processed this new information. When he first met Erwin at that art expo, the blond hadn't mentioned anything about owning any art himself. In fact, he even told Levi that he hated art. 

"Couldn't it just be someone else with the same name, dipshit?" the raven reasoned, returning his attention to his wardrobe. 

"He's a tall blond guy, isn't he? Very handsome? Commanding presence?" Another long moment of silence once again confirmed Hanji's prodding. "Yeah, he bought one of your Grandfather's paintings! He's kind of a well known collector of very rare things. Not just paintings." 

"That bastard." Levi cursed under his breath, leaning against the open door of his wardrobe and gripping it for purchase. "That means he already knew who I was and he set this whole thing up." 

Hanji gave her friend a very concerned look as she finally crawled off the bed and walked up behind him, placing a hand on his tense shoulder and squeezing it gently. 

"What do you think he wants from you?" she asked softly. 

"What else?" Levi spat back angrily. "He obviously knows my family is World-Famous for collecting valuable artwork and he's trying to woo me into selling something to him." 

Levi tore himself away from the wardrobe door and began to pace the length of his walk-in closet anxiously. He just couldn't catch a break, could he? First finding out about his Grandfather's forgeries, then the whole thing with Eren, and now this? It were as though the universe was out to get him. 

"But what do you think he wants? There are hardly ever any buyers who try to contact you personally and majority of the things we sell are through Auction bids giving our buyers the advantage of anonymity. Unless..." Hanji trailed off, prompting Levi to stop pacing and stare at her. "Unless, he's trying to get you to sell something that isn't for sale. Something more personal." 

"Like what?" Levi frowned. "Anything in my Grandfather's personal collection was donated to Museums years before he died. The only things we have left are the paintings here in the estate and 'Le Titan Femme' on display at the Sina Museum of Art." 

"That's it!" Hanji snapped her fingers. "It must be the sculpture!" 

"Tch, I hate to say it, but you're probably right." Uncharacteristically, Hanji watched with one curious eyebrows raised as Levi lifted his thumb to his mouth and he started anxiously biting on his nail. That was truly unusual of the man. "Sly bastard." she heard Levi growl. 

"Levi, you have to find out why he wants the sculpture. For all we know, he might be onto us. Erwin Smith is a dangerous man, and not just because he's filthy rich. He's a terrifyingly good businessman." 

"Hanji," Levi rolled his eyes. "You and I both know that if I end up going on this date with him tonight, I'm not going to be able to keep my mouth shut. I'll give him a good piece of my fucking mind." 

"You can't!" Hanji frowned at him. "This is important, Levi. You have to play nice and wrap him around your little finger in order to find out how much he knows. For both our sake. We'll worry about the sculpture and the technical examination later." 

"I'd rather worry about it now," Levi sighed. 

"Fear not, my little dumpling! Leave the sculpture to me!"

\- X -

Now, Levi would never claim to be an actor, nor would he ever claim to be a very good one either. Blunt Honesty was always his forte but he knew that Hanji was right. In order to keep their secret, Levi could have to play the part of the perfectly mild-mannered date tonight.

That didn't mean Levi was anymore polite or nice to Erwin Smith than he was with anyone else. Upon being picked up by his date in a sleek silver sports car, Italian, of course, Levi had side-stepped Erwin's amorous attempts to greet him with a kiss on the cheek. He decided if Erwin got suspicious about Levi's evasions toward his advances, the raven could simply play it off as being coy. 

Tonight, Levi had (surprisingly) [wore](http://en.vogue.fr/uploads/images/thumbs/201530/f6/dolce_gabbana_alta_sartoria_portofino2015__1__jpg_3759_north_660x_white.jpg) a white Dolce & Gabanna suit with a double breasted jacket in contrast to his usual black Chanel or Black Givenchy. D&B was never usually his go to brand for a date, but then again, Levi didn't exactly have his heart in tonight either so he really didn't care. To his surprise, Erwin came wearing a smart Fendi suit in a fetching gunmetal grey with a cognac trench coat thrown over despite the fact that the weather in the upper middle-class part of Sina was fairly warm, even in the evening. 

Upon entering the five-star restaurant together, it wasn't very unusual that the two men got lots of looks and curious murmurs. Erwin had been a perfect gentlemen, but Levi just couldn't find it in himself to care. He had his guard up from the very minute he met Erwin in the Foyer of his mansion, and Levi was not about to put it down tonight. He was much too suspicious of why Erwin had set up this meeting with him. For now, Levi figured he should take Hanji's advice and butter the man up, much to Levi's disgust. He was anything but a kiss-ass, but, Levi could be just as cunning when he needed to be. 

Erwin had ordered them some wine, and while Levi wasn't exactly thrilled with the blond's choice (a sparking white wine), he'd keep his mouth shut. For now. Erwin hadn't stopped staring at him and smiling all night. It was starting to grate on Levi's nerves. 

"Interesting choice in wine." Levi had commented, for lack of anything better to discuss. As mentioned before, his heart just wasn't in it tonight. "Why white?" 

The blond seemed to perk up visibly at Levi's curious question. Cobalt blues sparkling with excitement as he sat up a little straighter (if that were even possibly) and adjusted the knot of his deep royal purple tie. 

"Well, I ordered this particular wine because I happen to own the vineyard in Switzerland." he preened. Levi did his very best to refrain from rolling his eyes.

"Switzerland? It doesn't strike me as a place anyone would want to own a vineyard. Usually, people prefer Italy, California, France or Spain." 

"Ah," Erwin grinned, pointing his index finger upward into the air and Levi knew he shouldn't have said anything. He could feel a boring conversation about to start. "Most people don't think of Switzerland as a big wine country, but you'd be surprised how popular Swiss wine has been as of late. Especially the whites. They're not very commonly exported, however. Probably why nobody has bothered with Swiss wine until now." 

"Fascinating," Levi said monotonously, feigning interest but doing quite a poor job at it.

His indifferent attitude didn't seem to bother the blond, however, as he simply grinned wider and leaned a little closer toward Levi who minutely shifted away while remaining as straight-faced as possible.

"You know," Erwin said, large hand reaching across the table to grip Levi's. The raven's grip around his wine glass tightened and he fought down a scowl, simultaneously struggling to keep his next colorful sentence to himself. This was all for the sake of Levi's family secret, he reminded himself. _Just endure it._ "I find you quite fascinating, Mr. Ackerman." 

"Just Levi." the shorter man corrected, bringing the rim of his wine glass back to his lips to prevent himself from gritting his teeth. 

"Usually, I have trouble speaking to my dates. Especially the more handsome ones, like yourself. With you, however, it's-- Well, I find it so easy." 

"You? Having trouble speaking to your dates? I find that hard to believe." scoffed Levi. "You're the epitome of a perfectly eloquent, articulate man." 

Erwin rumbled out a deep chuckle and once again, Levi felt like he could just kick himself with all the sucking up he was doing with Erwin Smith. He'd definitely make Hanji owe him one after this. Well, she already owed him quite enough by now, but one more owed favor wouldn't hurt. 

"You'd be surprised how much courage it took for me to approach you at that art exhibit, Levi." 

"Erwin," Levi said, using this new information and their new found closeness to his advantage, leaning closer to Erwin and rubbing a thumb across the underside of his wrist where he could feel his pulse point. "What's the real reason you asked me out tonight? I'm not an idiot. I can tell there's something you want to talk about but you're avoiding it." 

To Levi's surprise, Erwin pursed his lips together and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, looking nervous for the first time the entire evening they'd spent together so far. Then he moved away from Levi, back to his own side of the table where he began to rearrange the silverware while avoiding Levi's eyes. This only furthered Levi's suspicions. 

"Well, I suppose it's now or never, hm?" smiled Erwin, finally looking up at Levi with such laser-focused eyes that if Levi were a lesser man, he might have felt almost intimidated. Alas, he was not. He kept his face perfectly stony and blank as he waited for Erwin to tell him the truth. "You see, It has to do with your Family's collection." 

Leaning back in his seat, Levi crossed his arms firmly over his chest and stared right back at Erwin, almost challenging him. Grey clashed with Glacier blues and the air around them seemed charged with thick tension. 

"Go on," the raven nodded, keeping his voice strong and even to show that he would not back down or show any weakness. "What about my family's collection?" 

Erwin seemed to notice Levi's sudden change in demeanor and he quickly tried to placid his date, leaning across the table once more and grasping Levi's hand between both of his larger ones. 

"Levi, please." the blond said softly. "Understand that this is hard for me to say. A man like me, I mean, asking for--" 

Just then, a young blond waiter interrupted them and Levi frowned, pulling his hand away from Erwin's clammy hold. What he wouldn't give for some hand sanitizer right now. A disgusted chill ran through his body at the memory of his hand in Erwin's larger sweaty ones. How much longer would he need to put on this facade for? 

"Mr. Smith. A long-distance phone call for you, sir. Germany." 

Erwin frowned up at their young blond waiter, who, Levi noted, was quite girlish in appearance with his slender, petite frame and long, shoulder-length blond hair half-tied back. His eyes were ridiculously large, and as deep blue as the ocean. 

"Germany?" Erwin parroted. "How in the world did they know I was here?" 

"Big Brother is always watching, hm?" Levi joked dryly. 

The other man flashed him an apologetic look, "I'm terribly sorry about this, Levi. Please excuse me. I'll cut it short." 

Erwin stood up, smoothing out any creases in his suit and buttoning the front of his jacket before he followed their young waiter in some direction Levi didn't care to know. Sighing heavily, Levi pushed his half-finished wine glass away and caught the attention of another waiter passing by. 

"Get me a Scotch. Neat."

"I'll have the same." a new but frighteningly familiar voice said from across the table. 

Snapping his grey eyes back toward the other end of the table where Erwin previously sat, Levi was very surprised to see a painfully familiar face with kaleidoscope eyes staring at him knowingly. An easy going smile spread across that gorgeously handsome face, and Levi felt his heart clench at the sight of Eren sitting across from him, face illuminated by soft candlelight and previously wild mess of chestnut hair pulled back into a neat ponytail. 

"You." Levi breathed out before a frown made it's way to his face. 

"That's not a very friendly greeting, now is it? I thought we had a pretty nice thing going between us last night, didn't you?" The brunet's easy smile morphed into a smirk as he shifted closer to Levi in his seat, invading his personal space once again. The raven responded by shifting away from him but Eren only moved closer. 

"Now, don't be that way." the younger man frowned, grabbing one of Levi's hands and lifting it toward his lips before he placed a gentle kiss to the knuckles. Levi would swear to his dying day that seeing (and feeling) those luscious lips anywhere near his skin again didn't make his heart start beating wildly. "I went through a lot of trouble to arrange for us to have this time alone together." 

"What the hell are you doing here?" Levi hissed quietly, not making much of an effort to yank his hand away from Eren's hold. "Leave the table. _Now._ " 

The brunet's smirk widened, "Didn't you know? It's National Crime Prevention Week. Take a burglar to dinner." 

"I'm sure I don't need to remind you, I have a very short temper." Levi scowled. "Leave. The. Table. Now." 

"I have something important to tell you." Eren said. 

"Do you want to get shot again?" 

"Levi--" 

"I said _leave_." 

"But, I really do have something I want to talk to you about!" the brunet pouted. Levi refused to think that petulant expression was rather adorable. "Please, Levi, promise you'll meet with me again and I'll go." 

"1," Levi started counting. "2," Grey eyes shifted toward the waiter that was returning with his scotch (and Eren's.) "Don't make me count to 3, Eren." he growled under his breath, hoping that the brunet would leave before Erwin came back. 

"Fine, Fine! I'm going, look, I'm leaving!" the burglar said, standing from his seat and holding his hands up in surrender as he slowly backed away from the table. He hadn't seen it earlier, but Levi couldn't help but think the brunet looked insanely attractive in the tailored suit he was wearing. It looked expensive, but Eren was already too far away for Levi to try and discern what designer brand it was. 

Off in the distance, just behind Eren, Levi saw a flash of Flaxen hair and a gunmetal suit. It seemed the universe was willing to give him a break, at least, for tonight. Eren was already turning to leave, but he stopped and quickly turned back to face the other before whispering harshly. 

"Eren Jaeger, Room 104, Sina Hotel!" 

That earned Eren some strange looks from other patrons, seeing as he was making quite an odd scene. Levi felt his face heat slightly in second-hand embarrassment. Eren was shameless, apparently. 

As he got further away, Levi watched as the brunet kept turning back occasionally to mouth "Sina Hotel," and "Room 104" at him before the raven finally resolved not to stare at him anymore. Eren was crazy if he thought Levi would actually go and meet with a criminal. 

By the time Erwin had returned to their table, Levi had received both his and Eren's scotch and had thrown his own glass back first before drinking Eren's more slowly. He felt as though he couldn't possibly take anymore of this night and when the blond returned to their table, all smiles and spewing out repeated apologies, Levi decided enough was enough of this little game. 

"So, where were we?" Erwin had asked, eyeing the glass of Scotch in Levi's hand curiously. 

"My family's collection," Levi gritted out, impatiently setting his glass down and fixing Erwin with a glare. "You were about to ask me something about it." 

"Oh..." the blond said, suddenly looking nervous all over again. "Yes, well," he cleared his throat, before reaching across the table to make a grab for Levi's hand but the raven moved it away before Erwin had a chance. Also, Levi was _not_ still lingering on the memory of Eren's warm hand touching his and his beautiful lips brushing over his knuckles. "I... hope you won't resent me for this, Levi. But, I arranged our meeting tonight." 

"Why?" the shorter male asked, patience wearing thin with Erwin beating around the bush. 

"You see, I attended the opening of your Grandfather's sculpture 'Le Titan Femme' at the Sina Museum of Art a couple of years ago and from the minute I laid eyes on it, I knew, I just had to have it. My obsession for it devours me to this day." 

"So," Levi said, feeling a sort of odd pressure lift off of him now that it was all out in the open. "You figured you could arrange a meeting with me, wine and dine me and then use me to get my Grandfather's sculpture? Am I right?" 

Erwin looked so horridly guilty, it was enough to have Levi scoffing and standing up from his seat, ready to storm out of the restaurant. Well, maybe storming out would be giving Erwin a little too much credit. Levi wasn't exactly heartbroken over learning any of this. In fact, the only reason he'd agreed to go on this date in the first place was because Levi had hoped it would have gotten his mind off of his situation with the sculpture and, well, Eren. In the end, Levi had used Erwin just as much as Erwin had wanted to use him. 

"The Sculpture is not for sale, Mr. Smith. I suggest you focus your attention elsewhere. Goodnight." 

As Levi moved to leave the table, Erwin shot up from his own seat and walked after him at a quick pace, struggling to catch up with the raven. When they made it to the coat closet, Erwin had ceased Levi by his shoulders and held him firmly. 

"Levi, please, wait." he pleaded, desperation clear in his eyes. "I-- I really did enjoy my time with you tonight. Not everything I said and did was a lie, I'm genuinely interested in you and... I'd hope that you'll allow me to see you again, after tonight." 

The raven fixed the taller man with an incredulous look. A look that said 'Are-you-fucking-kidding-me?' because Erwin Smith had some pretty big balls if he thought Levi wanted anything to do with him after this. Hell, Levi would be happy if he never saw Erwin Smith ever again. 

"Don't. Touch. Me." Levi growled. "I have no business with you, nor do I wish to associate myself with you further. _Goodnight_ , Mr. Smith." 

Slightly startled by Levi's hostile words, the blond immediately released him, and watched as Levi continued to walk away from him with a thunderstruck expression on his face. Levi in turn was utterly relieved to have finally been done with this horrible night. He was so exhausted, all he wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed. 

The events of the last couple of days have left him feeling constantly lethargic and more irritable than usual. It seemed, his Grandfather's sculpture was aiming to be the end of him. Or at least, aiming to ruin his life. He was at a loss for what he could do. 

After calling Gunther to come and retrieve him from the restaurant, Levi stormed through the front door of his mansion, carelessly throwing off his suit jacket and tie as he wildly searched the front rooms for any signs of Hanji. 

When he had no luck in the drawing room and the tea room, Levi settled on just yelling for her. 

"Hanji!" He waited no more than a second before he was calling her with more ferocity. "HANJI!!" 

A clattering sound was heard, before finally the brunette stumbled out from behind the kitchen door wearing her usual garb of white lab coat smeared in unidentifiable stains, safety goggles snapped over her usual glasses, and her disgustingly bright neon yellow rubber gloves. 

"What!?" she yelled back, looking a bit disoriented for a second. Levi thought he could smell singed hair. "What happened!? Are we under arrest?!?" 

"Listen to me," the man rounded up on her, pointing his index finger at her in warning as he closed the gap between them. "You better have some kind of plan to fix all this shit with the sculpture. Do you have any idea what I had to go through tonight because of that stupid fucking hunk of marble?" he spat. 

Removing her safety goggles, Hanji's bangs fell in her eyes, confirming Levi's earlier suspicion about the smell of singed hair. He didn't even _want_ to know what the hell she was doing before he got home. Levi was just grateful she hadn't burned down the estate. Yet. 

"So, he did arrange tonight's meeting because of the sculpture?" she asked, brown eyes widening comically. "Does he know!?" 

"No," Levi sighed. "He wanted me to sell it to him and I told him to fuck off because it wasn't for sale. Then I left." 

"Oh, thank god." the brunette breathed out in relief, placing a hand to hear chest. "But, wow, can't believe you actually got him to spill the beans to you. I thought he would be way harder to get talking, considering his reputation and all." 

"Yeah, well, that might have been because he wants to fuck me too." Levi said with a suck of teeth. "You should have seen how touchy he was, Hanji. Always grabbing my hand and getting all up in my personal space. He even tried to kiss me when he picked me up. I barely managed not to punch him in his dick." 

"Well, at least that's one less worry." Hanji grinned. "As for the situation with your grandfather's sculpture. I might have an idea." Grey eyes narrowed at the taller woman, and Levi waited for Hanji to elaborate. "We'll steal it!" she chirped. 

"Pardon?" the man asked skeptically. 

"You heard me! We'll steal back the sculpture before it's examined!" 

Well, it wasn't the worst idea he'd ever heard from Hanji, but it was definitely one of the dumbest. He fixed her with a tired look and Hanji only continued to beam at him like she'd just told him the solution to all their problems. 

"Hanji," he sighed. "I'm curious. Were you dropped on your head as a newborn? Did your mother drink while pregnant with you?" 

"No, why?" she asked with genuine confusion on her face. 

"Nevermind." Levi dismissed. "How the fuck do you suppose we're going to be able to steal back the sculpture? We don't have the faintest idea on how to pull a heist like that. We're not thieves." 

"Exactly!" The brunette laughed. "That's why we're going to ask Eren to do it for us!" 

Levi opened his mouth to protest, already prepared to go on a rant to Hanji about how utterly ridiculous this idea was and how it would never work. But then what she said finally registered, and he hesitated. Surprisingly, Levi couldn't find anything wrong with that logic. Eren was a burglar. Eren had broken in to _steal_ art from him. Despite his questionable tactics, Levi had no reason to doubt Eren's skills considering he'd managed to get on and off his estate without alerting security. 

"Hanji," Levi said, a slow smirk forming on his face. "You're a genius."


	5. Like A Thief in the Night (I'm Bad)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here, we have my ultimate favorite scene from the entire Film How To Steal A Million! I seriously hope (for those of you who've actually seen the film too) that I did this entire scene justice, because I truly do love it to pieces!

Levi had called Sina Hotel the next morning, anonymously setting up a meeting with Eren in the Hotel's quiet little bar. He was now grateful that the brunet had given him all his information and the name of the hotel he was staying at. Sina Hotel wasn't exactly any hotel. It was _thee_ hotel. Quite chic, for a burglar, Levi thought. 

He'd dressed as inconspicuously as possible. Throwing on a black [Dolce & Gabbana suit](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bFNdrZMpRHE/VLxwGCtoqlI/AAAAAAABfB4/9J33YpD_sUA/s1600/dolce-and-gabbana-winter-2016-men-fashion-show-runway-05-zoom.jpg) with lace overlay, his bangs pushed over to one side of his head a bit and throwing on a pair of black rimmed glasses as an after thought. He didn't want to be recognized if he could help it, and glasses were subtle but also great for changing someone's image. He'd look much less suspicious sitting near the bar waiting for Eren to arrive. 

Hanji had insisted on coming with him, but Levi had refused. Bringing Hanji along would make the whole 'Secret Meeting' pointless because Hanji couldn't keep a low profile. She'd probably end up drawing more attention toward them if she'd come, so Levi had convinced her to stay. Just in case anything went wrong. 

So, there Levi was, ten minutes early for their meeting with a glass of half-drank whisky in front of him and a cigarette balanced between thin, slender fingers. He got some interested looks from some of the other patrons, but that was nothing new to him. He simply ignored them and went about smoking his cigarette and crinkling his nose at the smell he knew would linger on his beautiful suit. Levi couldn't help it though. He was nervous, so he was smoking to rid him of the anxiety. It was a nasty habit he wished he'd never started up.

He'd purposely picked a seat near the bar where he'd be able to keep an eye on who came to the bar and who left it. Levi was also grateful for the dark maroon colored walls accented with gold and the low-lighting. Glancing down at the time on his silver Fendi wrist watch, Levi noticed that it was one minute until their arranged meeting time and still no sign of Eren. Was he going to stand him up? Levi frowned at that thought. 

Then, as if the heavens themselves were answering him, a very familiar figure stepped into the smokey cafe and Levi let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. He watched as Eren walked into the bar, flashing a casual smile toward the male bartender who blushed and nearly dropped a glass he was holding. Levi couldn't help but roll his eyes. Still, the raven hadn't failed to notice that in contrast to Levi's own dark inconspicuous attire, Eren was [wearing](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/de/e7/3a/dee73a903f1800101e34c12321a48084.jpg) a cream wool turtleneck that hugged his physique in all the right places, emphasizing his slim waistline, the broad shoulders and the well toned biceps. Against his warm skin tone and dark hair, the sweater really brought attention to Eren's eyes. Paired with the turtleneck, Eren wore a pair of white slim fit chino pants and to Levi's surprise, threw the whole outfit together with a pair of black lace up combat boots. At first mention, one might think it odd to wear black combat boots with turtleneck sweater and chino pants, but upon actually seeing it all put together, it was quite an appealing look. One that flattered Eren's longer torso.

Eren had left his hair down, contrary to what Levi thought. His messy bangs had been swept back out of his eyes artfully and Eren was wearing a pair of chic reading glasses; metal-framework, unlike Levi's. The brunet glanced around the hotel bar for a moment, glancing over Levi for a moment before he did a double-take. 

Levi lifted his cigarette up toward his lips, where he balanced it there and took a long, slow drag. Seeing the way Eren's eyebrows slowly inched their way up toward the brunet's hairline, it was impossible to stop the little twitch in the corner of his lips at seeing Eren practically gawk at him. Levi jerked his head a little to his right, gesturing Eren to come over and sit. Slowly, the taller man made his way over, and Levi took it upon himself to put out the last of his cigarette, having lost the urge to smoke now that the initial anxiety over this meeting was gone. 

Eren finally made it to the table where Levi was sitting, leg crossed over knee and a half-used ashtray sitting in front of Levi where his smashed cigarette remained. Then, a slow smile formed on Eren's handsome face and Levi promptly looked away, not risking being drawn into this man's charm. 

"Well," Eren breathed. "For a second there, I didn't recognize you."

"What gave me away?" Levi drawled sarcastically. 

"Your eyes, of course."

That prompted Levi to look back at Eren, only to see the other man staring at him with so much intensity it was almost startling. Throat suddenly feeling a little dry, Levi picked up his glass of whiskey and took a long sip, relishing in the burn of it as it slid down his throat and warmed his belly. This was better. Blame the heat coming from inside his body on the alcohol. Perfect. 

"You don't seem all that surprised to see me." the raven commented, setting his near empty glass back down on the coaster and locking his hands together in front of him. 

"Oh, but I am." Eren smiled a little more widely. "I'm very surprised, and also very flattered. I didn't think you'd actually meet me, Le--"

"No names." he interrupted with a stern look.

With a cocked eyebrow, Eren leaned in a little more closely. "If it's privacy you wanted, you could have just met me up in my room." he said, voice low and enticing, sending a pleased shiver down Levi's spine at the promises that voice held.

"I'm here on _business_." Levi clarified, adjusting himself in his seat a bit. "I find myself in need of your... skills." 

"Oh?" Eren sang. "Do tell." 

Levi leaned in over the table a bit, intending to lower his voice so that only Eren could hear. Instead, Eren had moved his chair closer to Levi's and had leaned in when Levi leaned in, causing both men to meet face to face, mere inches away from repeating their kiss from the other night. Levi inhaled sharply, noting the hint of spicy cologne that Eren was wearing and welcoming the warmth the new closeness of Eren's body brought. Turquoise eyes were hooded by long, graceful lashes and a playful smile stretched Eren's luscious lips a bit thin. Ignoring the way his heart leaped in his chest, Levi pressed on, pretending not to pay any mind to the fact that Eren was once again invading his personal space and Levi was doing absolutely nothing to stop him. 

"I need you to do a job for me." Levi said, voice matching Eren's low tone as he spoke quietly. "It won't be easy." 

"That's alright," Eren said, warm breath fanning over Levi's face. "Whatever it is, count me in." 

"You're aware of the famous Sculpture _'Le Titan Femme'_?" he asked, trying his hardest not to stare at the way the low light refracted in Eren's oddly colored eyes. 

Those eyes narrowed slightly as Eren thought for a moment, "The one on display at the Sina Museum of Art?" he mumbled, before realization sparkled in his eyes and he pulled away from Levi slightly, frowning. "You're kidding!" 

"Shh!" Levi hissed at him harshly.

"Why that place?" Eren grumbled, sitting back fully in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. "This isn't some kind of plot to arrest me, is it? Are you wearing some kind of wire?" 

"Don't be stupid," the raven scoffed. "I'm willing to reward you handsomely for doing this." 

"It's not money I'm worried about," the brunet sighed. "Why do you want me to steal that sculpture anyway? Isn't it yours?" 

"It's my grandfather's." the shorter man corrected. 

"What's the difference? It's still in the family, isn't it?" 

"It's none of your business why I need this job done. Will you do it or not?"

The two men stared each other down for a few long moments. Eren's gaze a strong pillar of determination while he worried his lower lip between his teeth; Levi's gaze in return was one of slight exhaustion and impatience. He needed an answer. 

"Fine, I'll do it." the brunet finally sighed, arms uncrossing from his chest so that he could lean across the table once more. To Levi's (excitement) surprise, he took his hand in his and held it tenderly, thumb softly running over his knuckles. "We'll meet tomorrow in front of the Museum of Art, 10 o' clock, sharp." 

That got a confused expression out of Levi as he leaned in, lowering his voice once again while seeming to ignore the fact that their close proximity and intertwined hands could be seen as a gesture between lovers. Levi halted his thoughts there and pushed them to the furthest reaches of his mind, not wanting to build on those thoughts any further. This was business meeting, he reminded himself. 

"Why the museum? Should we, I don't know, meet somewhere more private to discuss a plan on how you're going to do this shit?" 

Eren's smile at his question was absolutely knee-wobbling, and for a brief second, Levi was grateful to have already been sitting down. 

"Yes, there will be plenty of time for that, later. First, we have to see first-hand what we're going up against, and by that I mean, we're meeting at the museum because you and I are going to case the joint." 

The raven couldn't help but curl his lip up in distaste, "'Case the joint'? We're not in some bad mobster movie. Talk like a normal person." 

"Fine, would you prefer I said 'learn the layout'?" 

"Please." 

Levi would never admit how the amused chuckle Eren made had his stomach flip-flopping and his heart fluttering. Ignoring these sensations, Levi lifted his drink to his lips and sipped at it casually. 

"Since we're already here," the brunet drawled. "Why not get to know each other a little better?" 

"Irrelevant." Levi grunted. "Once this job is over and done with, we'll go our separate ways." 

"You wound me," 

"Yeah, well, I make it a point not to associate myself with thieves and criminals." 

"That's funny," Eren mused aloud, leaning in once more and hooding his eyes as he gripped Levi's hand a little tighter. "I could have sworn that kiss we shared the other night was quite welcomed by you." 

"We could try again, if you'd like." Levi suddenly suggested, smirking at the slightly surprised and eager look on the brunet's face when he said it. "I promise the next time you try and pull a stunt like that, I'd be all too happy to shoot you again." 

Frowning, Eren sat back in his seat a little, releasing Levi's hand from his grasp. The raven ignored how cold his hand felt afterwards.

"Your idea of flirting is so weird." Eren huffed with a pout. 

"You should see how I initiate foreplay." Levi murmured around the rim of his glass, only half-successfully in hiding the smirk that resided on his face. 

Before their game of back-and-fourth could go any further, Levi abruptly stood from his seat, causing Eren to follow suit in a subtle rush of panic. 

"You're going already?" he asked, frown still resent on his face. "I was hoping we could go up to my room and talk a bit more." 

Cool grey eyes slid across Eren's crestfallen expression, "I've said all I've come to say. This was just a business meeting and my business with you is done." 

Stepping past Eren, Levi started for the entrance but was stopped by a firm grip on his forearm. He frowned, preparing himself to turn around and snap at the brunet who thought he could just manhandle Levi however he saw fit, but any venomous retorts Levi might have had immediately died in his throat when he turned back and saw how close Eren had suddenly leaned into him. He felt a pair of lips brush against the shell of his ear and he couldn't suppress the little shiver that made itself known.

"I'll be waiting for you." Eren said in a low voice. Levi could feel the way his lips stretched into a smile as he continued, " _Eagerly_. So, don't be late tomorrow."

Once that was said and done, Eren released Levi's forearm and winked down at the shorter male who couldn't help but stare at the brunet's lips. Then, with a clearing of his throat, Levi smoothed out any nonexistent creases on his clothes and squared his shoulders. 

"Just for that," Levi mumbled. "I'll make sure to be late." 

As he exited the hotel's bar, Levi could hear the sound of Eren's laughter following him out of the building. It was just enough to have him cracking the tiniest of smiles himself as he got into the car that had been sent to pick him up. Once they were one the road back to the estate, Levi pulled out his cell phone and quickly typed out a text to Hanji. 

**_Levi: Got the green light. Plan is a go._ **

Shoving his phone back into his jacket pocket, Levi didn't need to wait for Hanji's excited reply. (No doubt, all in capslock.) He watched the scenery out his window and released a breath of relief. With any luck, by this time next week, Levi will still be a free man and his family's reputation will still be intact. While his faith in Eren's burglary skills wasn't very convincing, he couldn't deny that the brunet had a talent for breaking and entering. Levi would just have to trust that Eren could pull this off and not get caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer to finish than others for various reasons. It was supposed to be posted on Saturday, but I fucked up my back again and then life continued to dump a lot of shit on me.   
> I've only just found the time to get on my laptop and finish this despite having had most of it written up since last week. 
> 
> Not sure when the next chapter will be posted. From here on out, things will get a little more exciting and action packed(kinda) and I have no fucking clue how I'm going to pull off this heist, but I'll figure something out! Wish me luck, babies!!


End file.
